The big Super Bowl question has been, not a review of last year’s game or who may be favored, just “Who let the air out?” I believe there are a lot of additional questions.
Why does each team use different footballs? Why not use the same ball until all the air leaks out or a fan refuses to return it after it sails through the uprights?
How about using another official — give them an air gauge to use and a blue flag in case it’s needed. Between each play, the air official could check the pressure in the ball. If the pressure is off over a half pound, the blue flag is thrown. It will then be the official’s job to find out what happened to the air and exactly where it went. This could take extra time and in order to finish the game in time for 60 Minutes, each blue flag thrown would take 3 1/2 minutes off the clock. This would give the TV stations an opportunity to sell a few more commercials.
While all the media questions are flying, has anyone asked if someone is responsible to measure the height of the cross bar each time a field goal attempt is made? This too could call for using another official with a red flag. Prior to a field goal attempt, the cross bar official brings out a ladder, and with help from another official on the field, he checks the height of the bar. If it is not correct, the red flag is thrown and everyone must get off the field. Once the bar is set properly, they can all return to their positions and proceed with the play as the cross bar official stands under the bar to be certain it does not move again. This activity will take additional time so the game time will have to be adjusted.
During each timeout, when the cups of Gatorade come out, another official should be at the ready with an orange flag. They would check the contents of the cups to ensure there are no enhancements added that would affect the player. This action would be sure to extend the timeout times and more adjustments to the game time will be needed.
There are a number of additional checks that could be put in place such as: is a ball filled with helium used for the Hail Mary attempts? Could shoe laces be tied together, cleats missing or false shoulder pads used? One certainty is the game would take a lot longer and the halftime show might have to be canceled. That would save the cost of all the performers while the only cost for the new activities would be for more flags and a few officials.
As I see it, to allow time for all the additional checking, they could start the game earlier and tailgate party goers could enjoy bacon and eggs with coffee. This would spawn a whole new ad campaign using pigs and chickens to replace the beer and Dorito commercials.
A final note on “Inflate-gate.” That game is over. The charges have been discussed by every self-respecting media person appearing on TV; news reporters, sports reporters, morning show hosts, even game show participants. I’m not sure if it was covered by the Weather Channel, but I would not be surprised if it had. It’s time to dry the tears, face the music if it’s playing and focus on the Super Bowl game.
Let’s believe the best team will win and we know lots of suds will flow as the parties carry on after the game. And when they end, so does the football season until next fall.